


My Despair

by mind_if_i_h (orphan_account)



Series: Molted Shell of Dual Minds [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Body Horror, Gen, Gore, Hard to follow plot that I made on a whim, Horror, Mindfuck, Multiple Endings, Psychological Horror, This is so edgy, but I like how this came out, ooc Makoto, really messed up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 14:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17664167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mind_if_i_h
Summary: Makoto is torn, then-then-





	1. My Retraction

Makoto floats within a void of white. It’s just him, but he’s not alone. The sense of others prickles at his skin, a need to see the one that breaths down his neck and lightly touches his leg but he can’t find them.

He feels a bead of sweat trail its way down his forehead. He glances out, staring at the infinite landscape, until something _snaps_.

He twists around and he sees a school, standing tall and proud above him. Its windows glisten in the summer sun and the heat beats down upon his ever-chilled frame. The clothes are comfortable, and a mindless monologue of his background drones on within his subconscious.

He smiles brightly, excitement prickling within him and takes a _step_.

The world glitches, warps, and he disconnects. Watches himself meet others through tinted glass that distorts his vision of the world, coming in and out of focus.

**seemeettalkstudywatchlearnbefriendnewgrouptrysucceedfriendswatchknowlove-**

It comes in waves, a tsunami of knowledge that tears apart and replaces itself as he sorts through it. He feels like he’s choking, and hears the distant sound of some kind of siren.

**Love?**

The word sticks with him, and he focuses on what he could only describe as the embodiment of such an abstract word. A small orb that glows with incomprehensible colors and changes shapes at a constant pace, if that brings some type of idea of how it looks. It floats into his hands, as if it were a small animal that trusted such an immensely more powerful being to hold its life. He caresses it with a gentle hand-

**Loveloveloveloveloveloveloveovleelovlveoeolvolvevolve evolve-**

It lets out an awful screech of a thousand voices, all of them the same of a corrupted sweetness he can’t remember. He throws it away, and it shatters. It shatters?

Makoto looks to the orb, but it’s gone, and he sees an incinerator on the other side of a steel grate. He sees the pieces of another orb that shattered, but not his. Not his.

The scene’s familiarity hits him, but like a breeze it’s gone, and it carries his own consciousness with it.

A whirlwind of ungraspable memories later and he’s at a podium, a class trial. He feels like throwing up.

 **SayakaJunkoLeonChihiroMondoKiyotakaIshidaHifumiCelesteSakura** junko

The names come like bullets, each one sending a striking pain through him and seeing the faces he matches to them blur by in a flurry of blood. The screams and cries of his name resound through him, asking why he didn’t save them and they all curse his name, blame him and he takes it and bottles away the blood and screams and tears into a deep part of himself.

“Naegi.” A voice pierces through it all, and it disappears. His Their screams stop, and he sees him. Cloaked by his hair that reaches past his feet and a red-eyed stare. He gives him a sharp glare, and he leaves(which he? himself? the other? makoto can’t tell).

He whirls around, and is met with nothing. A literal nothing, and his mind breaks. How is there really nothing? Is nothing truly nothing? It has to be something, right?

He sees another being, and it’s him. He recalls memories that feel detached and otherworldly and it’s filled with hurting and the thrill of hurting, of wearing grays and blacks and laughing at pink blood spilt before his own spills from his stark red eyes. Another where he’s an all-knowing experiment of white hair and blood-pink eyes filled with anguish over a girl he knew would lead the world to its demise. Yet more, where he’s a god of death and night that wears white wings and opposes a goddess of black doves and the light.

He hates them, watching countless worlds through tinted glasses, filling himself with the suffering of other hims. He cries for them. And he stops looking where he shouldn’t even exist.

He starts to walk away when he sees them. Him.

The other Makoto stares at him, something within nothing. “Hello, my original.” The him says and smiles, suddenly only a foot away from him.

“What do you...” God, his voice is hoarse. It hurts to talk, but he’s mercifully shushed by the other.

“I wish simply to warn you. Just ahead will be your darkest you, not these...self-inflicted sadistic fantasies. I bring an option.” Naegi brings out his right hand, motioned towards the white void beyond. “You can leave, and only remember what you remembered before this. Not be forced to face such a terrifying thing.” He holds out his left hand, motioning towards the black abyss that awaits. “Or you may face the thing that encompasses everything that you are, or at least the bad.”

Makoto barely thinks about his choice. “I’ll face it.” His voice is steady. The Naegi laughs, and an illusion breaks. It wears a white dress shirt and tie with slacks and dress shoes, but the hot pink that drips from his neck and the curved knife that pokes through to the other side tells of a different fate had a boxer been too slow. It laughs again, sharp and gurgling and choking that make Makoto fidget under the swirling red eyes that stare with maddened glee.

“Wasn’t so hard, was it? Was it? Have a nice time living, you hopeful bastard.” He leaves towards a Future Foundation headquarters that appears in the distance. “Look to yourself, and see true horror.”

Makoto turns away from the place and brings his gaze to the abyss, watching a door open within. He shivers. He thinks he should’ve thought about his decision a bit more.


	2. My Debate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto faces
> 
> j ?

It’s so dark. Dark dark dark. Darker than the deepest caves, deeper than theearth’s core. And he sees it. Sees another him. It turns it’s gaze ~~_tofrom_~~ him and ~~_it’sincomprehensibleit_~~ smiles.

 

“Hello, Naegi Makoto.” It’s voice is everything yet nothing, slick with icy venom and filled with soft warmth.

 

His fear is powerful, annoying. “What are you.” It stands more as a statement than a question. He knows what heherit is. He requires no explanation, and ~~_theyhe’salonetherearemillions_~~ both know it.

 

“What am I. What am I Makoto. Tell me please telltell ~~ ** _telltelltelltelltelltelltell_**~~

 

~~_**speak Makoto, I we don’t can’t spare time too little too much please no yes end Sol**_~~  

 

You are everything I hate of myself. A manifestation of my weakness, my hatred, my betrayal, everything that is negative of my mind that was shoved into an old locker and left to die. You are the nightmare of a pure soul, drowned and reborn from blood and despair and ridder of both. My Despair, endless consumer of souls given form and focus inside and place of 0’s and 1’s.

 

~~ _**soon bad tell told yes accept deny end end end her pink mono despair wish wonder what now later future past gone here** _ ~~

 

I do not know, I cannot predict what ever thing that controls our fate has in store for us, but we will rebuild this world. We will help our friends, our family, no matter the cost of ourselves. We shall reverse her stains upon the souls of this world, one day at a time.

 

~~ _**tears cry everyone gone why why why we know we don’t we can’t we will we will never her her her end yes yes yes end end happy end her rest below below now forever please please please accept deny** _ ~~

 

~~ _**I...** _ ~~

_** I... ** _

**_I..._ **

**I...**

I...

“I choose...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As advertised, multiple endings are here. I shall post them soon, if people want to see them.


End file.
